The Journey to this Point I tied the knot with the love of my life few months shy of three years. I remember telling him before we got married that the first day we consummate our marriage, I will get
pregnant.
Maybe that word of affirmation did a lot. I did indeed conceive during our honeymoon and went on to have the most amazing child my husband and I could ever wish for.
The first trimester was uneventful as a result of hyperemeresis gravidarum (severe morning sickness). While I went on to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy journey, I had to undergo an emergency c-section after a labour experience that didn’t seem to progress.
But this child I have is worth it all and more if possible. We decided(well, maybe I decided) it was okay to try again after a year. We conceived the month after I had weaned my baby off breast milk. I remember the morning I thought it was okay to take a test.
I did one and quickly went to ease myself only to be welcomed by the biggest bfp (big fat positive) ever. I was so excited.
I had teased my husband earlier, on how I would make it a surprise and I had thought of several pregnancy reveal ideas(I am a romantic person at heart and love doing the simple meaningful things in life) but all that was thrown out the window the moment I saw that result.
I ran into the bedroom and called him to come to see the result with so much joy. “That’s it. You are pregnant. Thank God, ” He said.
My husband is a gentle and easy going man. His way of expressing joy is one of the sweetest things I love to see. He told me to go in and rest. The next day, I shared the news with my family. I’d not taken note of the signs
that something ‘wrong’ was about happening.
I had been having the most excruciating pain in my abdomen area in the
few days leading to my bfp that cycle. I put it off to ligament stretching or an adjustment because of a previous c-section. I had become hypochondriac within these few years and would always quickly self-diagnose but nothing in my wildest dreams prepared me for an ectopic.
Coincidentally, during my first pregnancy, I noticed that I had been spotting and so when I went in for a private scan at 5 weeks, the radiologist at the lab was very dismissive. I excused her attitude to hormones as she was herself pregnant.
“I can’t see any fetal pole or heartbeat here. It should be there by now. Come back in two weeks time.” She said. How was I going to stay sane for the next two weeks?
Being a worry wart, I told my husband we would check a different place in two days. When we got there, everyone was so kind. The radiologist asked why I wanted to have a scan as he checked me. “I just want to rule out things like an ectopic pregnancy,”
I said with so much naivety and excitement. Not knowing that what I was running from was
in the future. All was fine then, but not in this second pregnancy.
My abdomen was so tender to touch and each time my baby jumped on me, I would scream. I wondered why it felt so painful to carry my child close to my belly when I saw women carrying their toddlers on a
protruding belly.
At six weeks plus, I woke up one midnight to the most excruciating pain in my abdomen. I was constipated and gassy. I felt pressure on my rectum. I woke my husband up. My baby was frantic and couldn’t stop crying because I was crying. I knew something was wrong. I managed to pass out some faeces and the pain reduced. I actually termed it, ‘The pain of Victory.’ Some people pass out even without pain. I was thankful to be able to walk into the diagnostic centre by morning.
Follow @thejournalofattcwomaninng as she shares her deepest pain, and experience with an ectopic pregnancy.
