When children refuse to do as told, it can be frustrating and anger provoking. Many times I have resorted to yelling and promising all sorts of punishments if they don’t listen.
An important skill set to teach kids is how to listen. Either to you as a Parent, or to others. It’s a critical life lesson. Testing boundaries is inevitable and how we manage rebellion as parents is very important. We often encounter limit testing with the toddler who learned the power of “NO,” the tween who doesn’t want to be treated like a baby, and the teenager who feels old enough to make their own choices. Your child will sometimes disagree with a limit you impose on them and rebellion in some shape or form will ensue.
Here are some useful tips you can adopt to help your child get through this phase.
1. Find out the reason for his behavior.
A lot of external factors like a stressful time in school, bullying, negligence, loneliness can trigger rebellion. Also consider how your other family members interact. Children learn by watching others. set a good example for your child to follow.
2. Have a Conversation
Open a dialogue and try to understand your child’s view about the issue at hand. Then clearly state why you made the decision you made so your child can understand better. Many times we dictate what we expect of them without communicating why.
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3. Don’t Engage
Don’t talk back or lose your cool when your child does something wrong. Once you enter a power struggle with your child, chances are you will lose. You diminish your role as the parent when you go head to head with your child. There has to be an adult in the conversation. If you need time-out to calm down before addressing the issue at hand, take it. You’ll be glad you did.
4. Compliment good behavior.
Feedback is key. Don’t only give feedback when she does something wrong. Remember to compliment the good act of cooperation, obedience, and respect. This will let your child understand you don’t only focus on the bad, but you also notice the good and appreciate her efforts.
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5. Set realistic expectation
We probably all went through the power struggle phase as children. Keep your expectations realistic and pick your battles. By understanding where your child is coming from, you’ll be better able to react productively to his power struggles.
If your child has a lengthy history of being out of control and uncooperative, this may indicate a more serious problem. Here are discipline methods you can adopt.
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